EPHESIANS 5:25

The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” The standard given for a husband to love his life is the greatest of all standards. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” The great eternal, sacrificial love of Christ whereby He died on the cross for the sins of the world is the example that husbands should follow in the love that they show to their wives. One of the things that this verse demonstrates is that love is a choice. Evidently it is possible that a man can see the love that he has diminish towards his wife. This verse is a commandment to men to not allow such a thing to happen. This verse is written to all husbands, no matter whom they are married to, no matter how long they have been married, and no matter what mistakes the wife may have made. You can choose whom you love. As much as anything else, love is a choice. Make the right choice. Choose to love your wife.

Jesus chose to love us when we were yet sinners. Christ died for us. He lost so that we would gain. What greater love is there than His love? It is good to know that Jesus loves you. That is probably why God tells us so many times and in so many ways in the Bible. We like to hear and we like to know that Jesus loves us. When Paul mentions Christ and the fact that Jesus gave Himself for us, by the Holy Spirit Paul tells us more about why Jesus died for us. We know that Jesus died for us because He loves us. Is there any other reason that Jesus died for us? Ephesians 5:26-27 says, “That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

It is wonderful to think that Jesus die for me, but one of the things that is interesting about these verses is that they are talking about not individual believers, but the church as a whole: all believers taken together. God loves every one of us equally, and His work is not finished until the whole body of Christ is everything that it ought to be. He did not just save us from the pangs of hell and the guilt of sin. He saved us so that the whole church would become holy. In order to become holy, first we must be cleansed from our sins. And so verse 26 says “that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.”

To sanctify means to set apart. It comes from the word that means to be holy. God is holy, and it is a part of His great divine plan to create a holy people. God wants a people that is set apart from the rest of the world: His own peculiar people upon whom He showers His wonderful love. He loves the whole world, but this special people of God experience hat love and become the special objects of that love. In order to make people holy, there is a problem: the sin problem that must be taken care of. That is why there is a requirement of cleansing from sin. Notice that is no differentiation between the amount of sins. All are cleansed the same and all need cleansing. The cleansing comes with “the washing of water by the word.”

Some might make the mistake of looking only at the phrase “the washing of water” and think that this is talking about water baptism. That would be a mistake for two reasons. One reason is the fact that the next phrase in the verse is “by the word.” The phrase “by the word” explains how the washing comes about. God knows that people nee to be cleansed, and God has provided a mechanism by which people obtain that cleansing: the word. “How shall they believe except they hear?” When the word is spoken and preached and taught, then and only then do people have the possibility of being sanctified and cleansing. Do not under-estimate the power of the word. The word of God is alive and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword. The Word of God is profitable for doctrine, for correction, for reproof, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete and thoroughly furnished for all good works. Jesus paid the price for sin, and when the word of God reaches you, then you have the capacity to believe in Him. Once you are saved through faith in Christ, then your march towards an ever-improving life will only be possible as you stay in connection with the Word of God, and an important part of that is the speaking forth of the Word. Stay in the Word of God in order to stay in touch with God and your Savior. You will either be in the word or you will be in the world.

Ephesians 5:26 tells us what Jesus did for us at the time of salvation. Ephesians 5:27 tells us somewhat of exactly what Jesus is doing for us after salvation. Ephesians 5:27 says, “That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing: but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Once you are saved from your sins by faith in Jesus Christ, your spiritual life has just begun. God in the person of Jesus Christ and in the person of the Holy Spirit and in the person of the Father begins to do a work in you. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” He is not finished with you. In many ways He is just beginning. You have a lot to learn, and God knows it. He has great goals for you from a spiritual standpoint. He is at work because He loves you and because of His great plans or you. Do you know someone who is a believer that you are concerned about? God is concerned about them also, just like He is concerned about you; and God is allowing things to happen in their lives as well as in yours so that His great eternal plan would be right on course. Nothing takes God by surprise, and nothing will keep Him from His goal. “The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform it.” This is what God will do with the church and therefore with each member of the church: he will “present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing: but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

Notice that verse 26 speaks of sanctification and cleansing, and then verse 27 speaks of holiness and being without blemish. Sanctification and holiness are basically synonyms of each other. Sanctification and holiness are attributes of God. He declares that we are holy even when we are not, and then He goes about doing things to lead us into true holiness. Cleansing speaks of the forgiveness of sins, the taking away of your failures. Being without blemish speaks of the future: being everything that you ought to be with no weakness or failure of any kind to mar your character. What a great God we have, and what a great Savior. If you believe in Jesus, you are safe in His hands because He has a great eternal plan that has everything to do with you eventually becoming all that He wants you to be. How much He loves us!

That is the kind of love that husbands should have for their wives. All of their planning and preparations should always be centered around their wives. Christ is the example of how to love your wife. Think of how much He loves his bride, the church, and make sure that you love your wife to the same degree and in the same way. In addition to the example of Christ, there is something else that the Bible tells husbands to use as a measure of their love for their wife, and that is the love that they have for themselves. Ephesians 5:28 says, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” There are at least a couple of important principles in this verse. One of them is the fact that every person loves himself or herself. This principle is not condemned. A healthy love of self is tied to the idea of self-preservation. In the right way and in the right measure, self-love is a good thing. Self-love was given to man so that man would preserve his own to the best degree possible. Of course, the reason to preserve life and to advance life is to serve God and to honor God with that life. People who do not have the proper amount of self-love end up detesting themselves or even destroying themselves in some unnatural way. That is not God’s will for man. God wants you to love His creation, an you are a part of that creation. We understand that a person looks out for themselves. You have to learn to look out for yourself. Sometimes it is you and Jesus against the world. Just as a man has this personal interest and love for himself, he should have it for his wife.

Ephesians 5:29 speaks of the ordinary person and says: “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church.” This verse states directly what we had been explaining in regards to verse 28: the fact that a normal and healthy person nourishes and cherishes his own self, which is demonstrated by the drive for self-preservation. Pavlov noticed this in regards to man’s drive to see that his own basic needs are fulfilled. Every man “nourishes” his own flesh. This word comes from a word that means to feed. That which you are feeding, you are supporting and helping and nourishing. It is interesting to note that this same word is use in Ephesians 6:4 speaking of the requirement that parents see that their children are nourished with spiritual nourishment. In Ephesians 6:4 the word is translated in the phrase “bring them up.”

In Ephesians 5:29 the word that is translated “cherishes” literally means “to warm.” Of course, this word also is speaking of the need that all humans have to take care of themselves. Why do humans do what they do? They are driven to preserve their own lives and to properly take care of themselves. Hopefully a believer is learning to do this without crossing the line into improper self-interest. That would be selfishness, sinfulness, and lust. But there is a type of self-interest and self-preservation that is proper. That is the type that Ephesians 5:28-29 is talking about.

It is interesting that Ephesians 5:28-29 seems to be speaking about the physical needs of human life, but in that context verse 29 says that “the Lord” nourishes and cherishes “the church.” The Lord feeds and warms the church. The Lord meets our physical needs so that we can serve Him in this material world. Ephesians 5:30 says, “For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.” On the one hand, we came to the Lord spiritually speaking and became a part of his spiritual existence. Spiritually speaking, where He is, we are also: even “in the heavenlies.” But from a physical and material sense, He came and joined Himself to us. There was a day when the Lord Himself walked the earth in His own physical body, but now His body and your body and mine. As far as physical bodies are concerned, His work will only be done when you and I do it. That is one of the reasons that Jesus nourishes and cherishes our bodies: because our bodies are now His body.

This unity and oneness of Christ to the church is mirrored by the husband-wife situation. Ephesians 5:31 says, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” The reason that God makes this statement in Ephesians 5:31 is to remind husbands of the important truth that they are one with their wife. Of course, this goes along with the previous verses. If a man loves his own body and takes care of it, and he does; then he should also love his own wife and take care of her because she is now part of his body. They are no longer two: they are one.

The man and the woman are one in marriage. This oneness should result in the love and the care that they have for each other. This oneness of the man and the wife in marriage also implies several other things. It implies sexual and emotional fidelity. If you are joined to one in marriage, then you do not become joined to anyone else. Aside from even considering the moral and ethical implications, it is wrong to go to a prostitute simply because God’s will is that a man should be joined only to his wife because it is only his wife with whom he is permitted to be one. The desire for sex is normal and good, but only in the right context: a man and a woman in the oneness of their marriage. Joining with someone else other than your spouse is wrong because of the principle of oneness, but also separating from your spouse is wrong because of the principle of oneness. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife…” That is the exact same principle that Jesus referred to when He spoke on the subject of marriage and divorce, basically stating in my view that there should be no divorce. By the way the word “divorce” means separation. There should be no separation, except it be by consent because that can increase the temptation to be sexually unfaithful. Jesus said, “What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.” To “put asunder” means literally “to separate”. Separation is not an answer to marital problems. Separation is the first step to divorce, and as far as the definition of words are concerned, separation is putting asunder two people who ought to be together because they are one.

The Apostle Paul concludes the matter of marriage and the husband-wife relationship by writing in Ephesians 5:32-33, “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” In the age in which we live, we have a great teaching that others in the history of the human race did not have: the teaching that marriage is meant to be like the relationship between Christ and the church. Applying that truth to how we think should be something that helps our marriages be better than at any other time in the history of the humanity. Maybe there are some people that are not taking that truth and applying it to their marriages.

Some husbands are tempted to lose that romantic fervor over time, and to view their marriage a little too much from the practical side only. A husband is reminded to “love his wife even as himself.” Be romantic, pick a violet and give to your wife. Write her a love note or a poem. Tell her that you love her. God commands you to love your wife. God also has a command for the wife in Ephesians 5:33 to “reverence her husband.” The word that is translated “reverence” comes from the basic word “to fear.” Wife, the same reverential fear that you have towards God, you should have towards your husband. If you look at the hierarchical structure of the home, at the top is God and Christ, then the man, and then the woman. The woman is not low in the structure: she is still high up, but she is under the husband, and she should regard herself as being so.

The husband who understands this scripture and who is wise will shower his wife with love and affection and tenderness just as Christ does His church. The wife who understands this scripture and who is wise will treat her husband like a king in his castle and will honor and reverence him just as she would Christ. The Bible has the answers to the problems of life. If Ephesians 5:21-33 were followed by every husband and every wife, then marriage would be wonderful for everyone.

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